الأربعاء، 13 يوليو 2016

"Why should we care if our hair looks nice , if none of you ever looked at us , you only ever looked passed us m or through us
" i slowly open my eyes and smile at my former classmates , sitting before me , i can finally forgive them ... and myself ..." Jodee Blancoo





Just finished reading this novel .. again !
i read it over and over again like 4 times among the last few years .. it's about  Jodee Blanco's real story  - a former victim of bullying -to those kids who've been bullied at school , , and how she made it through  . 
it's very rich and intensive novel , she made me live every single moment she talked about , imagining myself as her , how i suffer a lot from the cheerleader's mocking , and the football players physical abusing , and even feel the spits of the mean kids on my hair!
 it made me cry several time : when she stayed up all night crying and asking god to take her life and to just let it all be over  , or at least to give her someone's cancer , somenone who loves to be living , which she doesn't  !
when she asked the guy -whom she had a crush on him- to write something in her year book as a memory of gradution , then he wrote - with a big nice smile- in a thick black font :" everybody hates you and always will, you're God's worst mistake . Love, Taylor !"
when she've been teased and humeluated in public because of her "physical agony" !
and when the mean boys threaten her to beat her up if she enters the cafeteria again , so she had no place to go but the bathroom to eat in !
not only that but , her family suffered too , watching her in a sever pain , and intense sorrow without having a chance to do something useful other than talking to the principle and teacher who kept saying : it's kids being kids , not a big deal !
and even when she transferred from a school to another , she had always been the odd girl in every school she went to !
and all that just because she was different ! different in a positive way ! 
.


Jodde Blanco is now a very successful woman , owns her own company and deals everyday with celebrities and the vip , beside being an  anti-bullying activist .
she's on her cursade across America , lecturing students, teachers and parents in schools to alert them of the dangers of Bullying.
.
she also appears in severals interviews talking about her best -selling novel , and tell her story to the world !
she said ..it's the catural of bullying that's accepted as the rite of the passage , adults like parents and schools think of it as "kids being kids" not " kids being cruel !"
today , the victims of bullying can't escape from the abuse " Blanco said in one of her interviews "it  follows them to their computers and cell phones right in their living rooms and bed rooms"
elite students in schools are divided into : elite popular , and elite tormentors .
the elite tormentor are the bullies , the mean kids who hurt others in order to look cool , become populer , and accepted in groups !
" some of them are laughing because they r scared , if they didn't laugh , then everybody would laugh at them " Jodee said :" if you laugh at somebody of your own free well ,that's bad enough . But if u laugh at someone , just because everybody else is , that makes you the worst kind of coward "

"Bullying isn't just  the mean things you do , it's all the nice things you never do  "
we have to take it seriously because, there are those kids who came to that point of desperation and think of suicide !
kids who've been feeling invisible at school , set alone at lunch never get invited to anything , teased , mocked,  made fun of get harassed , abused physically and verbally called  names .
.
i know i talked too much and maybe went too far , but am too eager to express how much that novel affected me and how many things i've learned from this brilliant novel !



if you ask me which of Disney's princess you are .. i'll immediatilly answer :The Little mermaid without any hesitation .
i've always imagined myself as Ariel the little mermaid , relate my life to her , believe that one day i'll make it just like she did ..
well um talkin here about the Disney version . To be frank i was quite shocked when i watched the original version that one with the little mermaid sacrificing herself and turning to a jelly fish or something like that for the prince , it's quite miserable and frustrating!
I remember i used to discuss with mom the issue of her givin the prince up easily without telling him that she's the one who saved his life ! i mean how stupid is that , precisely how lame ! dunno know how it supposed to be for kids .
i can relate my life to her in many points . you need to know this is so hard for me to give this kind of confessions , but i'm sincerely sick of my normal predictable life! i want to see the worlds and to adapt different lifestyles .
I know it sounds childish but hey ! this is who i am and i can't change the fact that my dreams have always been the same .
i want to be part of this world to experience everything in the movies and books .
my moms always says that these stuff r goin to ruin my life one day . she seems quit diappointed when i talk openely about my dreams , that's why i stopped doing that.
i want to experience and make facts out of my own experiences , i don't want to take secondhanded experiences ! How can we live a life without living it ?
i just wanna live while um alive .

i'm horribley through with playing by the rules of someone elses game !
i need to defy the gravity just like she did ,

الخميس، 16 مايو 2013

تحتال التقاويم علي لأن أذيل نفسي بنقطة .. نقطة تنهيني وتحدني في زاوية لأذوي .. ، و في كل مرة أجد الأنفة في نقطتي إياها (.) .. اذ تلتوي وتنزوي لتشكل الفاصلة ، .. وأحبني في كل حين ابتسم و انطقها -مثل أي مرة الأولى- .. " من رحم النهاية ننبلج وعند البدايات تموت النهايات" .. ولا نقطة هنا في حوزتي تأتي مفردة ،سوى جمعا ثلاث نقاط تذيلني في كل مرة ... (...) ... فنستدل على الاستمرار .. المضي واللانهائية .. ومابعدها، مساء الفواصل ، التي تجمع بين اختلافين

Teletubbies.. Hetrosexualist, OR Communist?




They say ideas are like diseases, you have no clear idea from where u got the infection, yet it's there right inside you, getting bigger and bigger. Well, no one said that cuz I just made that up, nice ha?
            Alright, so I’ve been reading some articles these days about - believe it or not- teletubbies !YES, teletubbies! Apparently Someone spelled the show’s name in front of me –in a class maybe- after a very long time and suddenly um obsessed ! I know it's weird to have an obsession over some fat colorful .. things! And again believe it or not, when I did some searches I found out that um not the only weirdo here, there is a plenty of weirdoes in the sea.. yeah what a relief !

So, There are some articles -some academic and some not- that came up with some strange theories about  that even more strange show.
Some of the articles claim that teletu...(whatever, um sick of copying n pasting that sick name) represents homosexuality! yes ! That kids show got some characters that are portrayed in a way that stresses on their genders. the evidence can be seen in the way that characters act through the show. First we have the purple. He got a deep manly voice that indicates with no doubt he is a male. He, however, carries around a red purse and behave in a very feminine way. Add to that the strange thing that is stuck to his head which takes the shape of an upside down triangle, which apparently used to be -or still is um not sure-a symbol of homosexuality. Therefore, some ppl assumed he is gay, gay as in both meanings LOL.
Another characters are the red and the lime green ones, who are obviously girls. They act, dress and talk like girls.
The last tele-something is the green or the blue I don't care. He is he clearly a male. He hates girly things ,refuses to act like one of them and wear a cow-boy hat most of the times. Very misogynistic I know! 
So yes, I think they have a point here. To a certain extent the show can be seen from a gender and sex perspective, yet it is not very convincing if you compare it to the next theory!

Another reading of the show, which I personally love because of the hilarious conspiracy sense it got, is that tele..shits is a communist show. HAHAHA, I know right! Let's just explore their theory before laughing our a**es off okay? deal.
The theory is build upon the note that the telelilies do not have personal stuff,  Like they all have one ball, purse hat and God knows what is the last thing that they all share. They all play with the same orange ball and they all have shifts in carrying that ugly red purse and wearing that spotted hat.
Also there is this sun, that has a baby face, and don’t get fooled by its cuteness because this chubby baby face watches the tele.. mother fuckers all the time (God  I love nasty words). Thus, the sun here represents the “big brother”, from George Orwell’s novel. Moreover, they have a vacuum cleaner that cleans after them, and most of the times it eats their stuff if they are not in order. That sounds mean, but the teleis love the vacuum cleaner as if they are brainwashed and take everything with appreciation! That elephant-look cleaner is a portrayal of the police power that enforces rules and law.
Finally, they have this machine that provides them food, with no clue about who brought it and made it , and it represents the government!
NOW.. what do (((I))) think- Yeah, after all these academic papers I wrote for my classes, trying to suppress my "I" and impersonalizing my writings, finally I get to say my opinion with no subjectivity hahaha, MY BLOG, MY RULES-,  okay so what I think about this theory is that it is a BULLSHIT! Seriously, tele-fuck as communists, COME ON! It sounds sooo gay! Very paranoiac if u ask me- and even if u don’t I’ll say it so suck it up-. The telefatties are too stupid and shallow and superficial to have secret messages, and even if they have it's a kids show for God sake ! Kids won’t get these embedded communist symbols and grow up becoming a communist! I myself used to watch it when I was 12 – big enough to get some symbols- and I didn’t see what the anti-communist articles are pointing at. Well I kinda have Marxist leanings but I haven’t until recently when I started to read and study Marxism, and definitely it is not because of that telechubbies!
It is because of the capitalist dominant media that made everything looks suspicious, and wants us to over think everything. To be paranoiac and insecure is what the Capitalist system relies on to keep existing and ruling this world. The way that this stupid and extremely superficial kids show have been analyzed to make us believe that communism is still a threat, even after the collapse of the Soviet Union, made me think why does communism still scare them to death, I kept thinking for a while and I think I now know why!
Capitalism is collapsing, whether they deny it or not it is. All the statistics and the breakdowns of the stocks are all evidences that show that capitalism or let's say America to be more specific is falling down and the next candidate to take their place is China who used to be Communists! and with all of what is going on in the mean time, the Arab spring the revolutions and the opposition movements around the world, people are more aware of their rights, their governments deception is no longer buyable.
 That's why the anti-communist theories exist. To convince us that communism is bad ! that there are conspiracies made  against us by them. That we are still in danger, and thus we need to close ourselves up and push that satanic ideology away without even knowing what does it really mean!
The biggest evidence of what um saying is that even kids shows are involved in the conspiracies ! And do you know what really pisses me off the most in that conspiracy theory? It is the fact that there are quit a bunch of ppl who really think that overweight-alien-tele-things have some hidden plans to control the viewers mind .... GO KILL URSELVES IDIOTS!!

السبت، 3 مارس 2012

alternative reality ~*

(1)



لما التقينا , كان كل همي أن ألحظ التشابهات 
أن ألونها بالبند العريض لكي لا أنسى أننا نتشابه في ظل الاختلاف
تحب القهوة .. فأندفع : مثلي أنا
تحب الصباح .. فاشهق : مثلي أنا

,
,

,
(2)

Instagram :@fulla

 يا بعضا مني , حين ارتبطنا كنت أحاول أن أجعل منك نسخة توازيني , قدمنا من عوالم مختلفة لكننا امتداد واتباع ,
هل ترى نظريات الأدب العلمي ؟
يقولون في مثلنا أننا من عوالم متوازية , أنا و أنت نسختين قسمتا على أراض متباعدة
.
بكذا كنت أقتنع يوما إزاء يوم

ان كان لايعني لك كوب الشاي غيمة تهدأ قاحل المشاعر , فتأمل وأنصت علي أقنعك
ماذا ترى في شواطئ الغروب ؟ تذكرك بنيران حديثة ؟ لا بأس إني أعتنق ما  تراه يا مؤنس روحي.




,
(3)
سيدي حين طال أمد المحاكاة صار لزاما أن ألحظ الفروقات السبع واضربها في اضعاف
واقتنع يوما عقب يوم اننا مختلفين جمعنا العالم الواحد
,
لست أو لست أنت من يسلو , إنها الأيام دول ودوام الحال من المحال
فلا تلومن عبثي واستسلامك

الخميس، 30 يونيو 2011

One woman's Inspirational story ...

"Why should we care if our hair looks nice , if none of you ever looked at us , you only ever looked passed us m or through us
" i slowly open my eyes and smile at my former classmates , sitting before me , i can finally forgive them ... and myself ..." Jodee Blancoo





Just finished reading this novel .. again !
i read it over and over again like 4 times among the last few years .. it's about  Jodee Blanco's real story  - a former victim of bullying -to those kids who've been bullied at school , , and how she made it through  . 
it's very rich and intensive novel , she made me live every single moment she talked about , imagining myself as her , how i suffer a lot from the cheerleader's mocking , and the football players physical abusing , and even feel the spits of the mean kids on my hair!
 it made me cry several time : when she stayed up all night crying and asking god to take her life and to just let it all be over  , or at least to give her someone's cancer , somenone who loves to be living , which she doesn't  !
when she asked the guy -whom she had a crush on him- to write something in her year book as a memory of gradution , then he wrote - with a big nice smile- in a thick black font :" everybody hates you and always will, you're God's worst mistake . Love, Taylor !"
when she've been teased and humeluated in public because of her "physical agony" !
and when the mean boys threaten her to beat her up if she enters the cafeteria again , so she had no place to go but the bathroom to eat in !
not only that but , her family suffered too , watching her in a sever pain , and intense sorrow without having a chance to do something useful other than talking to the principle and teacher who kept saying : it's kids being kids , not a big deal !
and even when she transferred from a school to another , she had always been the odd girl in every school she went to !
and all that just because she was different ! different in a positive way ! 
.


Jodde Blanco is now a very successful woman , owns her own company and deals everyday with celebrities and the vip , beside being an  anti-bullying activist .
she's on her cursade across America , lecturing students, teachers and parents in schools to alert them of the dangers of Bullying.
.
she also appears in severals interviews talking about her best -selling novel , and tell her story to the world !
she said ..it's the catural of bullying that's accepted as the rite of the passage , adults like parents and schools think of it as "kids being kids" not " kids being cruel !"
today , the victims of bullying can't escape from the abuse " Blanco said in one of her interviews "it  follows them to their computers and cell phones right in their living rooms and bed rooms"
elite students in schools are divided into : elite popular , and elite tormentors .
the elite tormentor are the bullies , the mean kids who hurt others in order to look cool , become populer , and accepted in groups !
" some of them are laughing because they r scared , if they didn't laugh , then everybody would laugh at them " Jodee said :" if you laugh at somebody of your own free well ,that's bad enough . But if u laugh at someone , just because everybody else is , that makes you the worst kind of coward "

"Bullying isn't just  the mean things you do , it's all the nice things you never do  "
we have to take it seriously because, there are those kids who came to that point of desperation and think of suicide !
kids who've been feeling invisible at school , set alone at lunch never get invited to anything , teased , mocked,  made fun of get harassed , abused physically and verbally called  names .
.
i know i talked too much and maybe went too far , but am too eager to express how much that novel affected me and how many things i've learned from this brilliant novel !